i wish i could conquer this chronic illness, that i could get back to a place of physical comfort so that i may help others. by the end of this month i hope to have straightened out the issues with my short term disability and gotten all of my results from the doctors so i understand the gameplan for my recovery.

i hope to be well enough to spend time with my grandmother. this will be a long month for her as her son recently passed and his birthday is this month. she will need extra love and attention. i hope i can provide it.

who do i hope to be? well, the best me there is of course...a more loving, healthier. less judgemental, less self-absorbed me.

That is a hard one to put limits on. Obviously seeing my family smile causes me a deep since of joy and gratitude. We are all so busy...so caught up, plagued by jobs and stress, disease and dis-ease. Seeing a smile let's me know that there is still hope and that for just a moment they are free from all of that.

Smiling at  a stranger and getting a smile back makes my day. I say hi to random people just to see what happens. it is a fun game i play when i am in a really good mood.